Valuing People

I'm sometimes hesitant when it comes to sharing my outlook on the role "other people" play in my life because I'm concerned that others will misunderstand or not take the time to appreciate what I actually feel.

The reason I have a hard time trusting that others will understand me in this regard is because on the surface it sounds shallow and self-serving.  And since you actually can, in truth, judge a book by its cover there is some truth to that judgment.  I am self-serving.  But I would not accept the word shallow.  Again, as with books, there is so much more if you go deeper than just the cover.

I value people.  When I meet someone I see a person who can help me out one day.  So I smile; I am nice and try to make their acquaintance when possible.  I try to at least take the time to be civil, if not friendly.  I suppose I am like the politician who sees everyone as a potential voter.  Unfortunately, this sounds like I dehumanize other people in my mind, only seeing them for what they can do for me.

I prefer to use a different perspective, however.  I value people and see them as having value, intrinsic and extrinsic.  I like them for who they are and for what they make of themselves.  I realize I am dependent on other people.  Certainly I worked hard to become who I am, but what would my school efforts be worth had I not had teachers to show me what to learn and how?  How could I have repaired my cars if a nice stranger hadn't let me use his garage and tools and hadn't shared his automotive experience with me?  Absolutely I worked hard, and in the end it was I who repaired the cars.  But that success, as with all my successes in life, were dependent on other people giving me some kind of help.  I value that help immensely.

And yet, is valuing people for what they can do for you any different from what we all do?  When we don't stop to talk to someone we pass by on our way, aren't we essentially saying that those people aren't worth as much as whatever we're doing at the time?  We value being on time more, or we value the people we are going to meet more than the ones we see on the street.  We value our friends more than strangers.  In that sense it is not fair to judge someone who goes out of their way to see value in people we normally don't value as much: "others".  When you stop and tell a child, or an elderly person that they are, in fact, important, isn't that a valuable thing?  And isn't it good to feel valued by other people?

At a certain point, the things that we get from other people, goods, services etc, become less valuable for what they are in and of themselves.  At a certain point they become valuable for the relationship that we have with the people who give us the service.  We value them and the fact that they are helping us more than we are even valuing the help itself.  I consider this one of the most important aspects of humanity.  In a sense it still is self-serving, but in another sense it is a reciprocal form of service.  We give to others in ways and at times that they need it, and they also help us in ways and at times when we need it.