It Hurts

Smee: I've just had an apostrophe.
Hook: I think you mean an epiphany.
Smee: Lightning just struck my brain.
Hook: Well, that must hurt.

     All these years I've told myself and everyone else how much I love learning languages.  "So what are you going to do with your life?"  That's always the hardest question to answer.  "Find someone to pay me to learn more languages?"  I haven't had much success in that endeavor, other than my MA so far.  I'm not good enough to translate in anything, not even French.  The Peace Corps doesn't pay, and it would probably look bad at this point if I couldn't put any food on the table.  I had sworn off intelligence work for various reasons, plus as much as I like Matt Damon I kind of wonder how long he spent memorizing those dialogues in other languages.  I think Matt Damon wasn't really a super spy who spoke several languages perfectly.  So that left me with the plan to get a PhD in Linguistics.
     That PhD transformed into Applied Linguistics (teaching languages) or Second Language Acquisition (how we learn them).  Both are super fascinating to me, as much as linguistics and foreign languages are generally.  And that's the road I've been hoping to be on for the last while now.
     And I would like to follow that road.  But what really gets me jazzed is learning new languages, visiting new countries for more than just quick two to three week trips.  More like several months, to see what people are really like, and actually experience their culture.  To get to the point where I actually participate with them and dislike some things and like others--so it's not all exotic anymore, but real.  And also I'd like to get paid to do it.  And not just work in hostels or cafés the rest of my life.  I want to provide a real service to the world: help people.  And I also do actually like my college life a lot of the time.  But where am I going to find a job that provides that?
     So, <fanfare> and note the beginning citation once again, enter a new character: Foreign Service Officer.  My uncle told me once that I should look into the State Department.  I did.  I remembered the website as being crummy and that I had a hard time finding anything I was qualified for.  That was years ago and much less college degree.  Their website is better now and I just had the thought to check it out, which led to the discovery of the FSO job.
     Just what is an FSO?  An FSO is a person who goes and lives in different countries, travels, is expected to learn the language to a reasonable degree, helps people directly, gets paid, gets a Federal retirement and seems to have more time off than a student (or than I did as a student).  And as one friend told me, the people there are all highly qualified and therefore make up a great atmosphere.
     I signed up to take their test, which is like 2 or 3 weeks from now.  I'm gonna fail.  I'm pretty sure I don't remember what the deal with Roe v Wade was or even when it was, or why or how or who in the world they were.  That's going to be a problem.  But the test is free, and it could be a good experience to see how I should be studying for the next time I take it.  If I miraculously pass, then hopefully I can go through their process quickly enough to have an offer at the same time as other grad school and job offers.  Hopefully.
     Maybe it's not all that I romantically dream it to be.  Then again, maybe it is.  There's a lot of neat options out there and hopefully one of them will want me enough so that I won't have to panhandle in the streets.